I think I'll move to Michigan... Yep, leave.  Leave the job stress. Go be with the grandchildren! 

I'm almost 64 and the rules and regulations of the medical office charting and documentation and attesting have just about sent me over the edge. On my feet all day, keeping up with the schedule, the phones, etc!!  It's not that I can't do it.  Oh, I can keep up with the best of them and then some...truly.  No dementia or loss of physical ability here--I can still run circles around the younger gals.  Nope, not that.  And it's not like my work environment is bad.  My co-workers and bosses are lovely...wonderful and friendly.  But my boss is stressed, also, and today accused me of something I didn't do--said with a smile, but an edge to the voice. Hey, could I be thanked for all I did do?  As in catching critical labs late Wednesday evening after she'd already long left the office?  Eeesh.  I don't need accolades I know what I do and I do it professionally, but, please...things I didn't even do?  Oh, for the wings of a dove, transporting me to a new, enjoyable place. 

I could...I could book my ticket and leave--what an adventure!  Of course, of course, this is a pipe dream.  I'll be here this year and the year after, faithfully doing my job, taking the highest quality care of my patients, with compassion because this is what I do.  Period.  In another life, maybe things would have been different.  Maybe a husband with a better income, no history of anger issues and tobacco abuse,  Me with a better education, garnering a higher salary, having been confident as a young person that I was intelligent.  Ahh, well, can't cry over spilled milk, and I've looked at all this and made peace with it in meditation and during my inner work.  Maybe..., someday, could have been... why didn't I, why didn't he...  All futile musings, because I am here now and aware.  Aware of what I have this moment and how I'm feeling this moment.  The situations may change, but it all comes down to my relationship with me and with God right here, right now.  Yes, the world is full of possibilities--it's not stagnant.  But right now, I'm open to what is, with kindness towards myself.  My tender, rational adult is in the forefront, nurturing the child and the beaten down woman, telling them she understands and she is here--one hand in God's and the other wrapped around me.  For this moment I'm fine just the way I am.